Three years ago, there was an article in the Telegraph entitled ‘Is eating at the traditional dining table becoming obsolete?‘ A similar article in the Daily Mail was called ‘Death of the Dining Table’. Because dining tables are going out of fashion. Less and less families are eating together, let alone around a table. With no TV. Making conversation.

‘Extremely fast-paced society’ is being blamed for this trend.

According to the online poll of 500 people, fewer than one in five said they ate at the dining or kitchen table “one or two meals a week” compared to 13 per cent who did once a day.
Almost one in three people admitted eating at the dining table only a “few times a year”, four per cent never did while three per cent of respondents do not even own a table.

And that was three years ago!

Two weeks ago, we got rid of our dining table. It was a sad day, but that table had taken a battering. Thirteen or so years of daily family meals. I remember when the kids were young and a drink was spilt at every mealtime to the cry ‘Every bloody day!’. I remember all the craft activities when I was a childminder – all the glue and paint and playdough…  I remember Luke and Becca spreading out all their artwork night after night for their Art GCSE. I remember all the Christmases – it was a BIG table and we always filled every space. I remember all the great parties – the themed food and decorations. I remember the creative groups and women’s groups that gathered to discuss around that table. And then there’s all the cumulative years of having at least seven of us at the table for every evening meal. That table has seen a lot and heard a lot and experienced a lot.

We found it hard to let it go, but it was time. There’s only four of us here most days now. Things have changed. We’re chopping up that table and burning it on our roaring fire (another centrepiece for family life in this house).

table

 

And we now have a new table! A new white table. That seats six. But extends to seat 12 so the family will always be welcome so that was reassuring for them to hear!

 

And on Saturday night, we christened the table with our first gathering – with a Gothic feel. It was good to keep up the family traditions. Life may be changing but the dining room table will remain the centre of our family life in this house. We will continue to eat our meals at the table.

linda

 

 

Linda has recently retired. She now has the time to embrace life, laugh a lot and do all that she loves. Discover what that looks like for her and let her adventures inspire you…

 

LIVE

 

linda-7An amazing and exciting visit at this time of year is to go to a Christmas Market. It’s amazing to view the creative ideas that people hope to sell on a stall. It’s exciting when someone’s ideas catch my imagination and purse. It’s interesting to see new stalls. The Tuesday craft market at South Causey Stables this week was displaying Christmas ideas. The pretty products picture shows an alternative to wrapping paper. The printed paper handbags are there to pop a present in. Fab ! Stalls selling homemade Christmas tree decorations are always fun. They present a glorious array of colour and seasonal gifts. Looking for unusual presents is a must. For me, it is a mini warm-up to Christmas Day. I enjoy tasting products. Recently after tasting yummy small xmas puddings, I purchased three -sadly only two have survived so far. Ha ha. I have marked several dates on the calendar to go to: Alnwick Gardens Christmas Market and also Harrogate Christmas Market on 19 November are two. Maybe next year, I will get to Edinburgh’s Market.

LAUGH

Some people hate cold calling. Now that I’m retired, I realise that this is an age group that is a definite target. In fact, my other half and I are so sick of them, we have found a way to deal with them. We have a competition to come up with the most bizarre excuse for saying ‘No, not interested’. The usual answers of no money, got a new one, ‘Oh my husband deals with the energy and he’s out, but I think he has just changed company’, have all been given. The excuses are of course given regardless of whether they are true or not. Recently a call came to upgrade my husband’s phone, supposedly from his provider. He said ‘ Thank you for the reminder. I have spoken to the phone people and got an amazing deal, much better than last year’. Her reply was ‘Oh! Um! Oh! OK! ‘ That put an end right there to two weeks of constant calls at odd times – early morning, all day and late evening – that his provider knew nothing about! Ha ha ha! Result – but he’s now in the lead! I need to get some good ones ready!

LOVE

linda-7-conkersWalking in the glorious autumn weather today along the Derwent Walk turned into a ‘Spot the Tree’ walk. Today I have seen at least six varieties. Horse Chestnuts are one of my favourites, especially at present. I just love conkers. It is a childhood memory of climbing, throwing sticks and finding any way to knock them down. Collected as a child, they were soaked in vinegar, put in the oven to harden or just used ‘au naturel’. My family even painted them in clear varnish. I am not sure what the modern methods are. Then the fun begins. Trying to smash another’s conker brings out the competitive child. These ‘playful’ contests are hilarious. I can even remember playing blindfold. Held at Peterborough every second Sunday in October are the World Conker Championships. Wow! Maybe next year?

I try to live, laugh and love each day xxx

  1. Chase the winter sun. Be like a bird. The birds have this nailed – those that migrate, that is. If disappearing off somewhere warmer appeals to you and is an option for you, then go for it! If not, when you catch a glimpse of winter sunshine, then get out in the fresh air and soak up the rays! In Autumn, some birds arrive and others leave on migration – it’s a time of change. We see kids off to university for the start of a new year – it’s a time of change for us too. 28-10-2
  2. Go colourful. Be like a sunrise. Skies can be dull and grey and mists can seems to draw colour out of the landscape, but then there’s those glorious sunrises and sunsets, the autumn palette of leaves, the luxuriant, dark berries….rich, warm colours to counteract the grey. The colours of autumn are simply beautiful. It’s time for us to embrace these colours in our wardrobe too and ditch those shades of grey.
  3. Sleep more. Be like a hedgehog. Back in the day, people got up when the sun rose and went to bed when the sun set – so they slept longer as the days got shorter and shorter. We have artificial light now and so have lost touch of this. But nature hasn’t. The animals sleep longer as the days are rapidly getting shorter. It is OK for us to do the same.
  4. Let go of stuff. Be like a tree. The trees do it. The leaves fall. It’s a natural cycle of life. It’s a bit sad to see all these beautiful leaves on the ground but the old has to make way for the new. That’s how it works. So it’s a great time to declutter. Get rid of not what’s necessary  – in your home and life and schedule – so you can focus on doing what you need to survive. Emotionally too – let go of what is holding you back and make way for the new.
  5. Prepare. Be like a squirrel. Do what you need to do to get ready. Winter is coming. Get what you need to survive the season. Shop early for Christmas if that’s what it means for you. Stock up while you still have the energy.
  6. Get cosy. Be like my dogs. They do the exercise they have to do but the rest of the time, they snuggle in under soft, fleecy blankets. They burrow their way in and build a cosy home. They stay warm. They only go out when they have to. Wild animals out there get ready for the cold of winter by developing thicker coats. It’s time to get a new coat.
  7. Eat blackberries. Be like a badger. Badgers love blackberries. Of course, Autumn is a time of plenty with berries, fruits, nuts and seeds everywhere. Plenty of seasonal food to enjoy and many wildlife species take advantage of this wild harvest to build up reserves of fat for migration or for hibernation. There’s a wide array of autumn vegetables too. So eat seasonally and enjoy apples and onions; blackberries and butternut squash; carrots, cauliflower, and kale; parsnips, pears and pumpkin. Basically delicious soups, stews and stewed fruit.
  8. Join together. Be like the crows. At this time of year, many birds form flocks. Look at them flying together to woodland roosts on Autumn evenings. Because they know that life is better together. More fun. Find something to celebrate and have a party! Get together for a meal or a film night. Enjoy each other’s company. Draw strength from each other. And laugh.

 

 

linda

 

 

Linda has recently retired. She now has the time to embrace life, laugh a lot and do all that she loves. Discover what that looks like for her and let her adventures inspire you…

 

LIVE

I have always enjoyed being creative, whether sewing, family birthday cakes or crafting. Over the years, I have flirted with each of these. Now I can choose my daytime activities, I can now return to art. One year ago, I joined a sketching and watercolour class at Bensham Grove. I rarely miss a session. Two hours float by in a sea of concentration punctuated by small pockets of chatter – a new experience for me!

leavesDrawing first this term: still life, harvest festival and flowers, to be followed by leaves. The first step or moment is scary, when you are given something to draw and paint to assess your ability. Then as each new technique is delivered to a rapt audience by Diane our artist and mentor, the confidence grows. Who knew that the bark of silver birch trees can be created with paint and a chopped piece of an old banker’s card? Watercolour painting and sketching is now a way of life for me.

LAUGH

Another activity this past year has been to join a book club. It has been good fun reading out of my comfort zone. Normally an avid crime reader, I began with ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ by Margaret Atwood, which became our benchmark to judge all books by. Another part of joining this group in Whickham has been the laughter, fun and social nights out that I have had. For example, the next meeting is our one year anniversary and to celebrate, we are to meet for cocktails (what, a Book Club? ) with our secret gift. The £3 limit has been a major task to find something original. I thought I had cracked it when I heard a shop was selling glasses with an led light for reading ie link to book club. All were sold out – disaster. I settled for a see-through plastic beaker with a straw and lid. The picture of pugs on the outside added a pretty touch. To make it more adult, I have added a one small bottle of Pinot Grigio – £3. I hope to make someone laugh or the receiver to at least smile !

LOVE

I love family cooking. My own super mum delivered delicious meals but at thirteen, allowed me to take over the family cake baking. Thus when I married, I could only cook bacon and that was by timing each side before it was turned over. In a household of one man, two sons and a daughter, I was determined they would each learn to cook. Peeling and chopping were first tasks. Then came Leek and Potato soup, Spaghetti Bolognese and a roast chicken dinner. Well if you can cook all three as a student, you can survive. All three children have gone on to cook fabulous meals. My eldest likes to produce his own sausages. The middle son makes amazing curries and French Onion soup. My daughter cooks fab meals and bakes. At birthdays and barbecues, the whole family, their other halves and my grandson gather and cook together. Steak nights are hilarious with each ring on the oven in action. Nowadays, they even take over! I just love everyone being a part of the meal.

I try to live, laugh and love each day xxx

When Helen H revealed that this photo has pride of place on the Friendship Wall in the Reflection Garden at the local Primary School, I didn’t know what to think. Or feel.

A mix of embarrassment, unworthiness, pleasure, bewilderment – how could we possibly be an advert for friendship? Is that what people looking in see? Great friends? Because yes, we are, but our friendship is far from perfect. It has plenty of ups and downs. Plenty of misunderstandings and frustrations.

It got me thinking. What could we possibly teach anyone about friendship? What have we learnt along the way?

  • Be honest. Which is tough because neither of us are particularly trusting but we’re learning.
  • Accept differences. Because there are loads!
  • Be free to do your own thing. We’ve learnt this. Helen H is into singing, photography and cycling. I’m into dancing, writing and running. There’s pretty much no crossover there.
  • Make time for each other. That’s a priority. The less we see each other and communicate, the more paranoia and insecurity and misunderstanding creep in.
  • Cherish the stuff you both enjoy. For us, that’s yoga, cocktails, clothes, films, family, fresh air…
  • Be loyal. Have each other’s back. Don’t overshare with other people about each other. Don’t speak for your friend when they’re not there.
  • Care about your friend’s happiness. Do what you can to make them happy and stand with them when they’re not.
  • Stick with it. We could have fallen out and walked away many, many times, but we haven’t because our friendship matters far too much for that. Not being friends any more is not an option.
  • Get over it and move on. Believe me, we upset each other on a regular basis. Hurt each other even. But we have to find a way to move on and not hold a grudge.
  • Laugh. A lot. At each other and with each other. We try not to take ourselves too seriously. There’s enough serious shit in life. We want to have fun where we can and when we can.

As I said, we’re learning along the way. We’re certainly not experts but we are committed to this because it matters.

Anything to add, Helen H?

Helen H: Hmmm, what can I add?  I agree with it all.  My friendship with Helen R means the world to me, I take it as seriously as my marriage. By that I mean that giving up in the hard times is not an option. Our friendship is worth fighting for and it took me many years and many friends to find that. And I love her the way I imagine sisters love. She drives me mad, when she hurts I hurt and a world without her is impossible to envisage. As Helen R says, we have had reason over the years to go our separate ways yet we haven’t. We don’t pander to each other, we say things the way they are, something we have learnt to do over our many years. And maybe the most important one, we are not in competition with each other. We accept our differences, even celebrate them.  We allow each other to be fully ourselves.

Oh and yes……Find time to laugh x